As usual, Tony Brauer, author of 12 Big Lies and the Prairies of Heaven is being all up-to-the-minute and has written a hilarious pseudo-speech from the mouth of George Osbourne. I give you some choice examples:
And as you can see, since having a slice of that chocolate fudge cake, I’m carefree and seeing the best in everyone. I can even see now that Keynes was abso-bloody-lutely right when he argued that a national economy is not the same as a piggy-bank and a tuck-box in the lower fourth. It’s dumb to reduce demand when there’s a slump. Obviously self-perpetuating. What’s needed is international co-operation to boost investment, because first movers tend to get ripped off. None of us dares to do it, for fear we’d find ourselves propping up everyone else, like Angie Merkel.
So we’ll be investing in some roads and things, and bringing forward expenditure, which is, yes, another way of saying pushing back the accounts, you cheeky thing!